white elephant

Just so you know I did put a lot of thought into what I did it just doesn't look as cool as I thought it would. Maybe I'll just read a post.( a lot of glitter went into this:| ) Sorry if you don't like it Hopsinson.



blackout

Reveal

Very few know my real voice, it's to quiet tp hear so peoplejust ignore it. Honestly I chose my penname because I like wolves. I am Selena wolfsbane. It literally took me three hours to piece this whole blog together and I hate everything about it because now it's out there and I can't take it back. I'm scared that I have been to real with this blog and I've let these people see me. Now they have the power to destroy me. It hasn't been the first time and I'm pretty sure I'm still missing parts of mefrom last time.

Selena means moon in greek by the way and wolfsbane just sounded cool so that is who I became but not who I am. Selena is just a facade I'm trying to hide behind. I doubt anyone would know me I'm good at being invisible. But maybe someoneout there cares what I have to say.

-Ellie pulley

Heartfelt thoughts

How long has it been since we last talked? A month? A year? You may not know but I pound on your chest every second of every day trying to get hold of you but you've been hearing me less and less. Slowly I'm fading into the backround stuck inside this cage of bones. The voice inside your head has gotten louder and louder over the years taking control. Hes been invading your thoughts and calling it logic and you obey because listening to him is safer in the long run. But listening to him isn't the same as living. He's holding you on a three inch chain and the pressure is so tight you've become numb. Well I've got some things to say your brain may be the safer way but you need me to feel alive. And I will always be the one there for you in joy, success, and misery while your brain will only tear you down. It's time to break free.
                                       -your Heart<3

Blue ticket

Compare, compare, compare, compare
I can't help but compare myself to others. It's easier to see your flaws but I read a quote that said "because I know my flaws I am beautiful" -unknown. Is there beauty in flaws? What I think they meant is that acceptance of your flaws helps you see the beauty in yourself more easily. I don't know maybe not.

Staring eyes

This post is from my journal that I was to scared to share during journal jam.

COLORS

my personality is rainbow.

Some people tell me that my soul is black but my soul is purple. Why? Because I said so!

People say I need to smile more, well my smile is invisible because no matter how many times I smile white they only tell me to smile more.

I'm blue because I cry when no one is looking, which is all the time because no one is ever looking.

No one knows but I'm orange when I'm happy. Like the sun I can burn bright but eventually someone decides to turn out the lights.

Sometimes I'm pink because that guy outside when I walk to schoollooks at me.

But most of the time I'm grey or just between blue and red, I'm sad or angry with myself, others, the world. Thats why my soul is purple.

Hate

I have got a lot of hate in my system right now and I don't know why but I'm just going to roll with it. First off I hate this freaking computer because when I'm typing the curser just decides to jump to different parts of the page while I'm typing and a sentence literally becomes sjdskrueifsjcnxn.             ( Stupid school computer.) I hate being to scared to talk to people when they are probably pretty nice people. I've just come across a lot of jerks in the past. I also hate having this face that looks like I am constantly frowning because I am not usually sad or anything I just really hate school and the pressure of trying to fit in. I hate girly cloths sometimes I wish I was a boy because they can just throw a tee shirt and jeans. I also hate submitting the wrong post in the wrong place does this sentence even make sense? whatever, this list could go on and on but I think I should stop before I turn into scrooge. bye

music on my mind

   Ok so I don't know about all of you but I am clueless on what my brick post should. I'm just not that creative Nelson! I've been brain washed by society for to long. I mean I have a hard enough time trying to figure out who I am let alone what to write on this post or blog.

    There is one thing that I could post and it is the only thing in my life I can think of that would match bricks perfectly and it is "brick by boring brick" by Paramore. I realize that a lot of my posts have been lyrics but music is my life. "With out music life would be a mistake" as Friedrich Nietzsche put it so perfectly. (I got that from here comes the boom which is also a great song and movie.) Anyway I recommend you listen to it because it is a great song. I'll leave the link below if you want to listen to it. k bye;)www.youtube.com/watch?v=A63VwWz1ij0

Blog

I honestly thought I would be done making blogs but I am currently at this moment sitting on the couch helping my dad make a blog. It was petty fun pretending that I knew what I was doing because I don't. I only know the bare minimum because of nelson. It makes me wonder if my dad knows what he's getting into because maintaining a blog is hard and writing a post that someone will actually read is way harder. It could just be me though because everyone else is amazing at writing. Best of luck to you dad!

Metamorphosis

I started out human but I feel less and less human each day and minute that I exist. I am the aftermath of a zombie when my flesh falls from the bone and what remains is metal and gears. I find myself constantly taking refuge around technology. I've tried to stop but there is no escape I cannot go any where without the influence of technology. My parents say that I'm addicted but how can I not when they keep making,updating,advertising,practically shoving technology into my open willing hands.

and all of these iphones,tablets,and computers have us brainwashed. we cannot seem to break the hold they have on our brains and it is slowly sucking up our humanity until we are nothing but robots and machines just like them.

Love haiku

LOVE is bitter sweet

<3

You feel brighter than the sun

<3

But then get snuffed out
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kMAzstG5O7E

Human

Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Mata au hi made
Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Himitsu wo shiritai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive, just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control, we all need control
I need control, we all need control

I am the modern man, who hides behind a mask
So no one else can see my true identity

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape to where I needed to
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you, oh yeah

The problem's plain to see, too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize.

The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
Now everyone can see
My true identity
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!

I know I already posted lyrics but this just felt right. 
Hey click this link.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLBSoC_2IY8

Playlist

I keep going to the river to pray cause I need something that can wash out the pain.- Ella Henderson
I would swallow my pride I would choke on the rhymes but the lack thereof would leave me  empty inside.- Eve six
so your tired but your alive so open up your eyes and you can get some sleep when your dead-FLYLEAF
I'm looking to the sky to save me looking for a sign of life looking for something to help me burn out bright make my way back home when I learn to fly.-FOO FIGHTERS
If I don't say this now I will surely break as I'm leaving the one i want to take forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait my heart has started to separate.-The fray
And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.-The Goo Goo Dolls
Say something I'm giving up on you.- A great big world
you know I'd fall apart without you cause everything that don't make sense about me makes sense when I'm with you.-HUNTER HAYES
I've given up I've given up slowly I'm blending in so you won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate.- reliant k
I've got the magic in me every time I touch that track it turns into gold.-B.O.B 

Cheers!

I'd just like to take a moment to recognize all the crazies out there because the people that society labels as insane are truly brilliant. So here's to the crazies, wierdos, misfits, black sheep, odd balls, strange, unusual, and amazingly wonderful people of the world. I think it's about time we all embraced the crazy in ourselves because it's better than trying to fit in (it's exhausting). Be the piece of the of the puzzle that doesn't even belong in that puzzle. Be you.

Ps.being normal is boring anyway:)

writers block

There are so many things I want to say and they keep piling higher and higher and it scares me because it feels like I might burst if I don't say them tell someone shout them at the top of my lungs. But they are stuck and For some reason I cant get these thoughts into words that would make sense to you. How could someone understand someone they've never met and how can I even share these thoughts when I don't know how to write them? It's driving me close to insanity. Please I don't know whats wrong with me. So if you are reading this please bear with me. I know my blog sucks. Hopefully I'll find a way to write what I actually want to say and how I actually feel. I don't know maybe what I have to say I actually will just suck. I hope not.

someone stole my crayons

I yearn for nap time when my mom would tuck me in and i would lose myself in my dreams where unicorns existed.

I miss the feel of mud and bits of grass between my toes as I run through the yard.

I miss fruit snacks before dinner.

I miss broken crayons and coloring outside the lines

I miss running through the sprinklers.

I miss those afternoon cartoons.

I miss laying in the sun bright and warm on my skin.

I miss not having peoples expectations break me down

And I miss having more time on your hands than you know what to do with.

I let go of my crayons for a minute and next thing I know I have no time. Instead of the familiar rainbow colors The world gives me straight grey lined pencils. I sit quietly in school and wonder what I'm doing and how I got here. My soul is mourning the slow painful death of my childhood as life replaces it with adulthood and responsibility.

Please give me back my crayons! this is not what I wanted. Please help me find my way back to my forgotten childhood.

                                                                        

                                                              

cooking is love made visible

Get ready because I am about to share the best cake recipe you will ever taste.(that is if you like coconut cake:) this cake is moist soft ant the flavor is delicious. It would be perfect for a birthday or if you just feel like making/stuffing your face full of cake, I won't judge. This drop dead amazing cake is brought to you by cooking classy which is the blog I got it off of. Also I wouldn't attempt this cake unless you know at least a little bit about cooking, otherwise it might blow up in your face, literally. Hope you enjoy it;) 

Print

Coconut Cake

Ingredients

• 3 cups (360g) cake flour
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cups (396g) granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1 1/3 cups well shaken canned coconut milk, at room temperature*
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature, yolks and whites separated
• 1 tsp coconut extract
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 4 large egg whites, at room temperature
• 1/8 tsp cream of tartar
Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting
• 12 oz. cream cheese, nearly at room temperature
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 tsp coconut extract
• 5 cups (596g) powdered sugar
• 1 1/2 cups shredded coconut

Directions

• For the cake:
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter 3 9-inch round cake pans and line bottom of each with a round of parchment paper, butter parchment paper and set pans aside.
• Sift cake flour into a large mixing bowl, then add baking powder and salt and whisk mixture for 20 seconds. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, blend together granulated sugar, butter and canola oil on medium speed until well combined. Add in egg yolks one at a time and mix until combined after each addition (reserve 2 egg whites), then mix in coconut and vanilla extracts. Working in three separate batches, beginning and ending with flour mixture, add 1/3 of the flour mixture, alternating with 1/2 of the coconut milk and mixing just until combined after each addition (if you don't have the paddle attachment that scrapes the sides of the bowl, stop mixer and scrape sides and bottom occasionally).
• In a separate mixing bowl, using an electric hand mixer, whip 6 egg whites with cream of tartar on medium-high speed until stiff (but not dry) peaks form. Using a rubber spatula, carefully fold 1/3 of the egg whites into cake batter at a time and fold just combined after each addition (don't over-mix and deflate egg whites). Divide batter among prepared cake pans. Spread batter into an even layer and bake in preheated oven until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean, about 19 - 22 minutes. Allow to cool in cake pan 5 - 10 minutes then run a knife along edges of cakes and invert each onto a wire rack to cool. Cool completely the cut tops to even as needed.
• Frost top of one layer, add another layer and frost then top with last layer and frost top and sides. Place cake stand over a rimmed baking sheet and sprinkle cake evenly with shredded coconut (pressing gently on sides to adhere. I just did it over a rimmed baking sheet for easier clean up - not a must). Store in an airtight container.
• For the Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting:
• In the bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, whip butter with cream cheese until smooth and fluffy. Mix in coconut extract. Add powdered sugar and whip on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Chill as needed if frosting seems runny (slightly runny is fine, once you get it frosted the coconut will help it stay in place).
• Recipe Source: Cooking Classy

routine

As I get ready for school I get dressed eat breakfast and put on my hat.

 Its soft from being worn and it is as familiar to me as the back of my hand. As I near the school doors I feel my pace slow as if someone is holding the corner of my shirt. I turn around with my hand on the door but no one is there. As I walk through the halls my shoulders sag and my heartbeat picks up its pace like someone is trying to pull me down. Hours pass and this weight on my shoulders increases to what feel like boulders crushing me slowly. As I walk out into the halls my heart pounds out of my chest and I can't breath I grasp my neck to pry off the hands that must be choking me but mine are the only ones there. I find myself running towards the exit convinced that the whole school is trying to kill me. I run up the street to my house and rip the door open and go straight to my room and brace myself against the wall. Into the quiet of my room I take off my hat and breathe.

I am me

       

       PRESSURE. That is all I feel inside and it's filling me like a balloon on the edge of popping. They always say to try your best but what if your best isn't enough. Would you take someone who doesn't know how to swim to the middle of the ocean and say do your best and watch as they sink down into the inky depths of the sea. I am sinking deeper and deeper unable to breath as the expectations of others drag me down by my feet.

         I am fed up with this need for approval and I have had enough. I am me and it doesn't matter if I am not enough for you because I am enough for me and there is no one else I would rather be. I will write for me and if you choose not to follow thats fine you would just slow me down. I like it better with just me and my thoughts because I'm used to being a lone wolf.