Love haiku

LOVE is bitter sweet

<3

You feel brighter than the sun

<3

But then get snuffed out
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kMAzstG5O7E

Human

Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Mata au hi made
Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Himitsu wo shiritai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive, just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control, we all need control
I need control, we all need control

I am the modern man, who hides behind a mask
So no one else can see my true identity

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape to where I needed to
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you, oh yeah

The problem's plain to see, too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize.

The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
Now everyone can see
My true identity
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!

I know I already posted lyrics but this just felt right. 
Hey click this link.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLBSoC_2IY8

Playlist

I keep going to the river to pray cause I need something that can wash out the pain.- Ella Henderson
I would swallow my pride I would choke on the rhymes but the lack thereof would leave me  empty inside.- Eve six
so your tired but your alive so open up your eyes and you can get some sleep when your dead-FLYLEAF
I'm looking to the sky to save me looking for a sign of life looking for something to help me burn out bright make my way back home when I learn to fly.-FOO FIGHTERS
If I don't say this now I will surely break as I'm leaving the one i want to take forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait my heart has started to separate.-The fray
And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.-The Goo Goo Dolls
Say something I'm giving up on you.- A great big world
you know I'd fall apart without you cause everything that don't make sense about me makes sense when I'm with you.-HUNTER HAYES
I've given up I've given up slowly I'm blending in so you won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate.- reliant k
I've got the magic in me every time I touch that track it turns into gold.-B.O.B 

Cheers!

I'd just like to take a moment to recognize all the crazies out there because the people that society labels as insane are truly brilliant. So here's to the crazies, wierdos, misfits, black sheep, odd balls, strange, unusual, and amazingly wonderful people of the world. I think it's about time we all embraced the crazy in ourselves because it's better than trying to fit in (it's exhausting). Be the piece of the of the puzzle that doesn't even belong in that puzzle. Be you.

Ps.being normal is boring anyway:)

writers block

There are so many things I want to say and they keep piling higher and higher and it scares me because it feels like I might burst if I don't say them tell someone shout them at the top of my lungs. But they are stuck and For some reason I cant get these thoughts into words that would make sense to you. How could someone understand someone they've never met and how can I even share these thoughts when I don't know how to write them? It's driving me close to insanity. Please I don't know whats wrong with me. So if you are reading this please bear with me. I know my blog sucks. Hopefully I'll find a way to write what I actually want to say and how I actually feel. I don't know maybe what I have to say I actually will just suck. I hope not.

someone stole my crayons

I yearn for nap time when my mom would tuck me in and i would lose myself in my dreams where unicorns existed.

I miss the feel of mud and bits of grass between my toes as I run through the yard.

I miss fruit snacks before dinner.

I miss broken crayons and coloring outside the lines

I miss running through the sprinklers.

I miss those afternoon cartoons.

I miss laying in the sun bright and warm on my skin.

I miss not having peoples expectations break me down

And I miss having more time on your hands than you know what to do with.

I let go of my crayons for a minute and next thing I know I have no time. Instead of the familiar rainbow colors The world gives me straight grey lined pencils. I sit quietly in school and wonder what I'm doing and how I got here. My soul is mourning the slow painful death of my childhood as life replaces it with adulthood and responsibility.

Please give me back my crayons! this is not what I wanted. Please help me find my way back to my forgotten childhood.

                                                                        

                                                              

cooking is love made visible

Get ready because I am about to share the best cake recipe you will ever taste.(that is if you like coconut cake:) this cake is moist soft ant the flavor is delicious. It would be perfect for a birthday or if you just feel like making/stuffing your face full of cake, I won't judge. This drop dead amazing cake is brought to you by cooking classy which is the blog I got it off of. Also I wouldn't attempt this cake unless you know at least a little bit about cooking, otherwise it might blow up in your face, literally. Hope you enjoy it;) 

Print

Coconut Cake

Ingredients

• 3 cups (360g) cake flour
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cups (396g) granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1 1/3 cups well shaken canned coconut milk, at room temperature*
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature, yolks and whites separated
• 1 tsp coconut extract
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 4 large egg whites, at room temperature
• 1/8 tsp cream of tartar
Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting
• 12 oz. cream cheese, nearly at room temperature
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 tsp coconut extract
• 5 cups (596g) powdered sugar
• 1 1/2 cups shredded coconut

Directions

• For the cake:
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter 3 9-inch round cake pans and line bottom of each with a round of parchment paper, butter parchment paper and set pans aside.
• Sift cake flour into a large mixing bowl, then add baking powder and salt and whisk mixture for 20 seconds. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, blend together granulated sugar, butter and canola oil on medium speed until well combined. Add in egg yolks one at a time and mix until combined after each addition (reserve 2 egg whites), then mix in coconut and vanilla extracts. Working in three separate batches, beginning and ending with flour mixture, add 1/3 of the flour mixture, alternating with 1/2 of the coconut milk and mixing just until combined after each addition (if you don't have the paddle attachment that scrapes the sides of the bowl, stop mixer and scrape sides and bottom occasionally).
• In a separate mixing bowl, using an electric hand mixer, whip 6 egg whites with cream of tartar on medium-high speed until stiff (but not dry) peaks form. Using a rubber spatula, carefully fold 1/3 of the egg whites into cake batter at a time and fold just combined after each addition (don't over-mix and deflate egg whites). Divide batter among prepared cake pans. Spread batter into an even layer and bake in preheated oven until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean, about 19 - 22 minutes. Allow to cool in cake pan 5 - 10 minutes then run a knife along edges of cakes and invert each onto a wire rack to cool. Cool completely the cut tops to even as needed.
• Frost top of one layer, add another layer and frost then top with last layer and frost top and sides. Place cake stand over a rimmed baking sheet and sprinkle cake evenly with shredded coconut (pressing gently on sides to adhere. I just did it over a rimmed baking sheet for easier clean up - not a must). Store in an airtight container.
• For the Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting:
• In the bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, whip butter with cream cheese until smooth and fluffy. Mix in coconut extract. Add powdered sugar and whip on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Chill as needed if frosting seems runny (slightly runny is fine, once you get it frosted the coconut will help it stay in place).
• Recipe Source: Cooking Classy

routine

As I get ready for school I get dressed eat breakfast and put on my hat.

 Its soft from being worn and it is as familiar to me as the back of my hand. As I near the school doors I feel my pace slow as if someone is holding the corner of my shirt. I turn around with my hand on the door but no one is there. As I walk through the halls my shoulders sag and my heartbeat picks up its pace like someone is trying to pull me down. Hours pass and this weight on my shoulders increases to what feel like boulders crushing me slowly. As I walk out into the halls my heart pounds out of my chest and I can't breath I grasp my neck to pry off the hands that must be choking me but mine are the only ones there. I find myself running towards the exit convinced that the whole school is trying to kill me. I run up the street to my house and rip the door open and go straight to my room and brace myself against the wall. Into the quiet of my room I take off my hat and breathe.